thanks.

Last year I chalked it up to “just being new and starting out and still needing to find our groove and someday it will be easier”.  So what do I say this year when I am 12 months into experience, groove found then lost, easiness still just out of grasp?

The panic caught up with me today.  The panic of working full time and mama-ing full time and house and sports and school work and and and…and I don’t know how it will work.  How do we help when school is hard for one and not the other.  How do we spend, spend and still save?  How do we go 4 different directions all at once?  How do we do this when one works 24 hours at a time.  And the other works too?  It still feels new, and I wish it didn’t.  I wish I had found the magic formula that I was so sure existed, but now doubt.  Three cold sores in 10 days provides the physical evidence.

Today I extended the grace to them that is extended to me everyday.  In spite of the rush, in spite of the panic.  We talked slow.  We ate dinner.  We showed kindness, and reminded kindly when one didn’t.  All this even today when are missing one who is gone for those precious 24 hours which usually ushers in my impatience.  And that impatience went un-missed today. 

And the best part for me?  I noticed.  Mostly I don’t notice, but today I did.  And thanks.

And just because: