In the end we will find Him faithful

I borrowed that from the P31 devotional that was delivered to my inbox today.  Oh, how God is faithful to me, in the end and in the now.  Read it here. 

I am a wreck of emotion today.  The only thing that distinguishes this Tuesday from any other is that this day is the last day of school for my kids.  Even though I feel (mostly) confident about our decision to home school next year I can’t stop myself from mourning this loss.  Loss of what?  I can’t really say.  It’s all of the touchable and the not-concrete things.  The belonging, the friends, the teachers, the things that are a part of the experience of school that make it just what it is.  The stuff that I complained like a beast about all year long.  The cussing AR reading program, the spirit week dressing up, the nickel and dime-ing.

Part of it is also the release of the hope that came with the job offer.  It’s not happening and I am really okay with that.  As okay as I can be, I suppose.  But today I am again hauling those “whys” and “what the hecks” up from the muck and laying them out.  Maybe even holding them a bit…although I am trying very hard not to.  I can admit that.

I am headed over to the school for Erin’s awards ceremony this afternoon.  It’s where they pass out all sorts of academic awards and superlatives and such.  They also do a sixth grade “clap out” to  to acknowledge the transition of the kids from elementary into middle school.  I have simply resigned myself to the fact that I will cry the entire time.  For all the hard work Erin has done this year and for everything that I have talked about here, and um, hello, for the fact that she will be in seventh grade!!!!

Read the P31 link.  It applies to so many situations.  I am so thankful that as I (literally) cried my prayers this morning after leaving the school, God was ahead of me planting His word and hope and peace directly in my email.